Down Swinging

Down Swinging
Vic's Picks
10-28-2007


"We're so bad right now that for us back-to-back home runs means one today and another one tomorrow."
--Former Baseball Manager Earl Weaver

The Colorado Rockies made the playoffs this season.

The Colorado Rockies won a playoff series this season.

The Colorado Rockies won two playoff series this season and, by doing so, won the National League Pennant.

The Colorado Rockies went to the World Series this year. Let me write that one more time--this time, without shaking my head and laughing in disbelief, wondering if the Chinese food I just ate was laced with LSD:

The Colorado Rockies went to the World Series.

Wow.

Does anything that happened after that really matter?

First, a rant:

To be sure, the four games the Rox took part in during the 2007 Fall Classic left a lot to be desired. Rockies batters swung and miss more often than boxers on the take. Meanwhile, starting pitchers were slapped around so much, domestic violence charges may still be pending.

Then there's Clint Hurdle. With a team struggling so mightily with scoring runs, why on earth didn't we see more small ball--bunts--to move runners into scoring position?

By Game 4, the white Rockies towels boisterous fans were wildly waving resembled more of a sea of surrender flags than rallying cries.

I guess if there was one good thing to come out of the Rox getting swept, it's that TV viewers had to put up with the absolute least amount of Fox coverage. Good grief. If teenage kids were to invent a drinking game where they took tequila shots every time commentator Tim McCarver made an insightful observation, there would be a lot less underage drinking in this country.

I suppose the Rockies were doomed to begin with. I mean, think back to the ticket disaster. Next time, the organization may want to reconsider using Florida election officials to equitably distribute World Series tickets.

But I digress....

Every time I wanted to slam a shoe against my coffee table like I was Kruschev, I reminded myself that it's almost Halloween and the Colorado Rockies are still playing baseball. I reminded myself that the Rox used to be a national joke; that they usually finish in last place; that they, at the beginning of September, were chasing three teams in their division alone.

This was Rockies team you liked rooting for. And we did so, with fervor.

The Rox took the sting off yet another Cubs disappointment and a mediocre start to the Broncos season.

The Rockies got swept by the Red Sox--a team that is the new Evil Empire and was by far the better ballclub. But, what a hell of a ride.

Losing sucks. I am first and foremost a Cubs fan, after all.

But, a World Series game in Colorado?

Say it one more time: the Colorado Rockies played in the World Series.

Does anything that happened after that really matter?

Vic's Picks: 9=13-07

Hey all--

This was my goodbye column to readers at the Daily Record, with this week's picks to go along with them...

V

Publish Date: 9/13/2007 Page: B1

Goodnight, good luck

“Sorry, we’re closed.”

These were the last words uttered by Sam Malone to a customer attempting to enter his bar during the final episode of the great “Cheers.”

Then, there is the “Goodbye” message spelled out in stones meant Capt. Hawkeye Pierce as he rides away in a helicopter and with it, the longtime series, “M*A*S*H.”

And, who could forget Bob Newhart waking up in bed with his TV wife from “The Bob Newhart Show,” Suzanne Pleshette. Startled from a dream that apparently was the entire spinoff series, “Newhart,” Bob wakes his wife and tells her of his strange life as a Vermont Innkeeper.

“Go back to sleep, Bob,” was one of the final comments from that great sitcom.

These classic shows that fill the heart of my Old School soul seemed to know just the right way to say “so long.” And because I’m now riding off into the sunset toward casinos, sportsbooks and horseracing tracks in some other neck of the woods, I felt it appropriate to use these wonderful moments in television history as a way of helping me form my own goodbye message.

That’s right, Fremont County sports fans, stick a fork in me because I’m done. I soon will be packing my bags and leaving on the Midnight Train to a different publication. That being said, this will be the final voyage for the Vic’s Picks Ship in these particular waters.

To the many loyal readers who would e-mail me their comments of support, like: “How’d that Cleveland and New York Jets parlay work out for you, fool?” I say thanks for your kind words.

To the area bartenders who would ask me politely to leave rather than heave me out of their establishments face first after several Sundays of screaming obscenities at television screens that featured football games I was certain to lose money on, I appreciate the restraint.

And to the area bookies who, when I would be slow in making good on a bet, agreed with my request to have their goons pound away at me in parts of my body where clothing would cover any bruising, thank you for your compassion.

But, seriously folks. It’s been fun. And, I couldn’t think of any other parting gift to you all than to present one more batch of lock-solid football picks before I exit. But, if you just can’t get enough Vic, you can visit my blog: http://www.vicssportspage.blogspot.com/.

And, again, thanks for reading. In the words of the late, great, really great Johnny Carson: “I bid you a very heartfelt goodnight.”

And, with that, I hold in my hand the final envelop of picks:

College:

Notre Dame (+7.5) at Michigan:
Good grief. When the rich go slumming, they really go slumming. I think the only thing that can make this affair any uglier is if Britney Spears performs at halftime. Take the Irish for this simple reason: How in the world are the Wolverines 7.5 points better than any team right now?

Auburn (-13.5) hosting Mississippi State:
The Tigers caught the upset bug last week, but expect them to bounce back against lowly Mississippi State, which has been outscored by its first two opponents this season 83-17. These bulldogs couldn’t have been beaten worse this year if Michael Vick had been involved.

East Carolina (+1) hosting Southern Mississippi:
Ah, my favorite team to wager on. The Pirates are like my little warm cup of cocoa on a cold winter morning; they always cover for me. Take ‘em in this one.

Fresno State (+17) at Oregon:
The Ducks trounced Michigan last week. Meanwhile, the Bulldogs lost an overtime heartbreaker as big underdogs to Texas A&M on Saturday. Take the Bulldogs, who have no fear, to cover.

Colorado (+4) hosting Florida State:
OK, so the Buffs collapsed at Arizona State last week. Still, the Seminoles couldn’t cover a two dollar check at the moment. Look for the upset here.

NFL:

Buffalo (+10) at Pittsburgh:
The Bills should hang tough with the Steelers, who beat up on the Browns last week, which is kind of like making fun of our president; it’s just too easy. Take Buffalo.

Dallas (+4) hosting Miami:
The ‘Fins are 8-22 against the spread in their last 30 home games. Ouch. Take the Pokes, who are going to score a lot of points this season.

Detroit (-3.5) hosting Minnesota:
Two teams that beat up on really bad teams last week have a chance to go 2-0. Believe it or not, I like the Lions, a team that has covered the spread in their last three regular season games.

New England (-4) hosting San Diego:
How can you bet against a team that spies on other teams?

Philadelphia (-7) hosting Washington:
McNabb showed his rust in the Eagles’ loss last Sunday to the Packers. Look for his team to bounce back against the Skins.

Call your bookies, but if you lose, don’t call me.

Last week: 5-4-1

Season to date Against the Spread: 7-6-2

Vic's Picks: 09-06-2007

Vic’s Picks
9-06-2007

Usually after the first Saturday of the football gambling season, I find myself on my hands and knees, pleading with my financial institution to cut me a loan.

However, I have yet to be accepted for one. They typically frown upon my references: Guys who tell them that they’ve surprisingly never had to resort to breaking my thumbs following lost wagers.

But, get this, sports fans: There will be no begging to the bank president like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life” for me—at least not this week. That’s right, a mediocre two wins, two losses and one tie last weekend means I’m riding the nice wave of dignity heading into this weekend’s action.

But I best be careful. Because with a full slate of college ball and the first games of the NFL season staring me right in the face, I stand a Mattel toy’s chance of shelf life for pocketing big bucks unless I step it up a notch this weekend.

So, that being said, time to get down to business. “Merry Christmas, you old Savings and Loan!”

College:

Oklahoma (-11) hosting Miami (Fla.):
A throw-back to the days of Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer. But, this is one of those games that sounds better than it’s actually going to be. The Sooners are 6-1 against the spread in their last seven games at home. I don’t see the ‘Canes keeping up offensively.

Oregon (+8.5) at Michigan:
Could you imagine what the scene at the Big House will be like if Big Blue starts 0-2? Could happen. The Ducks never fail to score points and the Wolverines “D” couldn’t stop Appalachian State playmakers from using the restroom last Saturday. Michigan should bounce back, but look for the Ducks to cover.

Texas Christian (+9.5) at Texas:
Check out this hyperbole: This could be the Horned Frogs biggest game in the history of their program. And, TCU should be up for it. Dating back to Nov. 18 of last season, the Frogs have outscored their opponents by a total of 199-35. Meanwhile, the Longhorns looked like they were asleep at the wheel Saturday in their opener against Arkansas State.

Virginia Tech (+13) at LSU:
The Hokies were impossible favorites last weekend. They were hosting an emotional home opener and they were playing an underrated East Carolina team that always covers the spread. But, keep in mind that VA Tech is 10-2 against the spread in their last 12 road games. LSU wins this game, but 13 points is too many here.

Colorado (+15) at Arizona State:
The Sun Devils are 3-8 against the spread against in their last eleven against a team with a winning record. Yes, Buffs fans. Believe it or not, your team has a winning record.

NFL:

New Orleans (+6.5) at Indianapolis:
I wonder what the over/under will be for the number of Peyton Manning commercials we have to be subjected to during this broadcast? My guess is 24. No way are the Saints 6.5 points worse than the ponies in this one.

San Diego (-6.5) hosting Chicago:
As long as Rex Grossman is behind the center, Bears opponents will always have a chance. And, while I don’t trust Bolts new coach, Stormin’ Norvin’ Turner, their offense is far superior to Chicago’s.

Detroit (+1.5) at Oakland:
How’d you like to be the poor souls stuck watching this game? The two worst teams in football last season; the worst organization heads: Lions President Matt Millen and Raiders owner Al Davis; the worst fans; and, a Raiders coach who is 13-years old. I just flipped a coin. Tails=Lions.

Tennessee (+6.5) at Jacksonville:
David Garrard is the Jags QB. The Jags will be lucky to get six points out of him, much less cover the spread in this one.

San Francisco (-3) hosting Arizona:
Every year the Cardinals are the “sexy” pick to make the playoffs. When are we going to learn to stop looking at this team through beer goggles? Take the Niners.

Call your bookies, but if you lose, don’t call me.

Last week against the spread: 2-2-1.

Vic's Picks: 8-30-07

A new season, renewed hope

The other night, after a long day of covering courtroom drama, I was a bit tired and didn’t feel up to slaving away in the kitchen. Besides, I had a hankering’ for junk food. So, I ordered a pizza.
I greeted the delivery person — Zach is his name — and while making small talk with the nice lad, he asked what I did for a living. Judging by my meager possessions and the mason jar of pennies I raided in order to pay for the pizza, I was surprised Zach didn’t already assume I was a newspaper reporter — perhaps he was just being nice.

Well, it turns out the guy is a big fan of this here column. He started asking my thoughts on the upcoming football season and giving me kudos for some of my past writings.

I was touched. Of course, Zach’s praise would have seemed more sincere had it not come at the same time I was reaching into my pocket for a tip; nonetheless, it’s nice to know there’s at least one member of the Vic’s Picks Fan Club.

Zach also commented on how impressed he was with my football prognosticating record from last season. I was taken aback because, you see, it’s rare when people tell me I’m actually good at picking games.

Well, sports fans, while Zach thinks I do a pretty good job at gazing into the football season crystal ball, I’ll be the first to admit that last season’s record was pretty darn mediocre.
You knew things were going bad for me when the number of prominent conservative Republicans involved in gay sex scandals any given news cycle frequently outnumbered my weekly win total — and, thanks to a certain Idaho senator, I’m already behind the eight ball this season.

But, as with any season, I’m going into this year full of confidence and vigor — especially the college season.

So, without further ado, the picks for the first weekend of the 2007 college football season:

Mississippi State (+18) hosting LSU:

Yikes! Just call this one the “Which state was screwed more by the federal government following Hurricane Katrina Bowl?”
LSU is going to be a darn good team this season and, if they didn’t have to play in the brutal SEC, the boys from Baton Rouge would be my pick to win the national title. They’ll win this game easily, but expect the Bulldogs to put up a fight and cover the spread in their most important home opener in years.

Florida International (+38.5) at Penn State:

Check out the list of “games” in the weekend debut of the Big Ten Network: Ohio State vs. Youngstown State; Michigan vs. Appalachian State. What? Cañon City High School was unavailable? I’m taking the Golden Panthers to cover just out of spite.

East Carolina (+28) at Virginia Tech:

The Hokies are going to come out with a whole lot of emotion for this game; as well they should. The entire nation will be rooting for them this season following the school shooting tragedy from a few months ago.
But, it’s been my experience that emotions don’t play well in the Las Vegas sportsbook. And, might I add, the Pirates have won me a lot of money the last couple of seasons: they’ve covered the spread in 19 of their last 26 games overall.

Colorado State (+3) versus Colorado:

The game is scheduled for a 10 a.m. kickoff at Invesco Field in Denver in an effort to cut down on unruly college kids’ drinking. Ha! They don’t give the college kids in Boulder and Fort Collins enough credit. Expect machine-gun like scoring and the over/under of teens throwing up in bathroom stalls by halftime to be at 200. By the way, the underdog is 10-1 against the spread in these two teams last eleven head-to-head match-ups. Take the Rams.

Georgia Tech (+2) at Notre Dame:

The Fighting Irish will be lucky to win five games this season. Meanwhile, the Ramblin’ Wreck are 9-4-1 against the spread in their last 14 games. Sorry, Charlie.

Call your bookies, but if you lose, don’t call me.